Bitter Longing

I was

the seed of desire.

A hateful boon

among life’s choices

I had no right to decide.

a Curse

conceived by Nanay’s cold blood

wrapping my face

in a tight embrace

as she squeezed me out

with pure disgust.

 

 

I was blind.

the fires of passion

in my brothers’ eyes

stirred not my heart.

I only longed to have

Nanay’s smile.

 

 

perhaps, she was just afraid

that same fire would burn

in Tatay’s eyes.

and so she buried

the heat that fed

the scorching light.

 

 

but the emptiness inside

nurtured another life -

a frail tabako,

I breathed again.

 

 

the scent of beauty

drew Nanay closer

and a thousand faces after her

the acrid taste

spoke of denied love

did she ever listen?

she spat me out in reply.

 

 

destiny is cruel

when beauty is a fault

one has to suffer –

and die

to live again,

bitter and still

desired.

Tags: bitter longing, maureen, mother, mythopoem, poem