Lead

I heard my cellphone beep after class dismissal; I read a message from my sister, Dream. She was telling me dramatic stories about her allowance, wanting to borrow money from me. She is also in Davao, but we are not living in the same house for my school is far from hers. She had insisted on studying here in Davao, even if she had not take nor pass any entrance examinations here. My parents were absolutely against it, but with my help, she ended up getting what she wanted.

Dream, my sister is only a year younger than me, and because of that we were always in competition. My parents would always give us the same amount of allowance, the same brand of clothes, and even an equal share of household chores for the sake of treating us fairly. However, back when I was five, I really felt that life was unfair.

My sister got an expensive coloring set from her godmother. That time, I did not need clothes, dolls, or chocolates, all I wanted was a set of coloring materials but my own godparents did not know that fact.

At the end of the day, I decided to draw and color while watching our favorite shows. My sister, who was trying to make me envious decided to draw as well. I was enjoying coloring without borrowing from her new coloring set and I pretended not to be envious.

But then, I saw her holding my newly- sharpened pencil. I hated her because she was not contented of what she had. Then, I tried to snatch my pencil back but I could not do it because she was holding it too tight. We ended up rolling, struggling on the floor. Because I was a year older and stronger than Dream, she was beneath me, lying on the floor. Both of us exerted all our strength in the struggle to get the pencil. She was holding tight to it while I was losing my energy. I stopped pulling. Her forceful pull downward to get the pencil made her stab the pointed pencil in her lower left eye.

I was not very sure if it was because of victory, fright or the volume of my sister’s wailing, but I felt numb. I saw my mother panicking to rescue my sister. I did not stand up or even bother to help. I just sat on the floor while our helper kept on asking me what happened. I was not listening to her; I was preoccupied watching my father carrying my sister away to the hospital, while my mother was crying.

I cried. I was very afraid, afraid of being scolded, spanked or worse, losing my or best friend.

That night, I kept on asking our helper about my family, but she knew nothing. I waited for them all night but they didn’t come back. Later that night, our helper told me that my sister had undergone a small operation. I did not sleep.

The next day, it was only Papa who came back home. He did not spank or scolded me but I really felt his coldness towards me. He told me the good news that my sister was in good condition and that she would be coming home with my mother after two days. ^^ When my sister came back, I never stopped whatever I was doing to greet her. I then realized that even children could have pride. She was then, put to bed for rest. I just continued what I was doing.

Papa came to me and surprisingly, he handed me a coloring set and a number of pencils.

“As the Ate, you should be patient with your sister. Just give her what she wants because in the first place, she quickly losses interests on things. Only the two of you will end up helping each other. Promise me that you will take care of her.”

Happy because of my new gifts, I raised my right hand as a sign of my promise as he carried me and put me to sleep.

My phone beeped again. There was another message from Dream: See you at the mall after your class later, thanks.

I came to our meeting place. She then stated to tell me things that she was supposed to buy and projects to make, implying that she needed extra money. She really knew that I can’t say no to her even though I’m aware that she spends her money on useless things. My parents are aware of that, so they stopped giving her an extra allowance.

I studied her face, and I can still see the mark in the lower part of her eye. The grayish color of lead that penetrated into her skin near the lower left eye is still clear after twelve years. It may seem invisible to other spectators, but for me it s there. The gifts, or should I say bribe that Papa gave to me then are all gone now, but I’m still keeping my promise to help and guide her. I know that she is smart and responsible for every deed. That is why I still trust and support her.

Our meeting ended with us going our own separate ways, with her a contented smile and me worrying how to budget the money that was left on my purse.

Tags: lead, memoir, Prose, shyne